No Recession in Mixed Metaphors

Heard on Down to Business on Newstalk earlier, on the economic downturn:
"The seeds for this were sown years ago, and now they've come home to roost."

Fucking Dogs Again.

There's nothing funnier than seeing a horny terrier trying to fuck a red setter. Lots of effort for no gain. Clearly it's an evolutionary kindness that small dogs can lick their own balls in the event of such a height mismatch.
Unfortunately the red setter trotted off and took a shit by the goalposts of the football field, where children play. Let me just explain what they are for dog owners out there: children are little pink bipeds that only act retarded for about 2 years, then learn to speak, reason and not shit everywhere. Dogs on the other hand act retarded their whole lives and only have the appearance of improving as their owners attempt to match their dog's stupidity over time.
Now I attempted to be polite.
"Excuse me", I said sweetly, "your dog has just gone to the toilet by the goalposts."
"Has he?". I immediately smelled a dogshit: she had watched him doing it.
"Oh, I'll just pop home and get a bag. Sorry."

Did she come back? Of course not.

I did however find her house. I've been in touch with Spencer Tunick and he reckons he can round up 600 nudes to call around and take simultaneous dumps all over her garden.

Meanwhile I'm just finishing the rules to a new game called Dog Hurling. It's pretty similar to hurling, but I've replaced the sliotar.

Previously on dogs.

The GAA

Photo owned by Irish Philadelphia Photo Essays (cc)
Isn't it great that towns all over Ireland have to ground to a halt so a bunch of park-where-they-like rednecks can get their GAA jollies? Traffic lights get turned off, residents can't get in their own driveways and ticket offices are parked up on footpaths. And the guards?
Shure they only love it.

Declan Ganley

Also fits:
"I've been completely honest about Libertas' sources of funding"
"Rivada has nothing to do with the arms industry"

Lisbon: A helpful guide to deciding your vote.

Place thumb in index finger; alight coin on thumb.

Flick thumb.

Explain this to me.

Photo owned by dbking (cc)

Zimbabwe suspends work by aid groups and there are fears that people will starve there.

Doesn't this mean aid agencies are simply subsidising corrupt governments?

Discuss.

Neigh.

Photo owned by Tansan (cc)

Pete Baker reproduces Miriam Lord's piece from the Irish Times on Bertie's latest round of horseshit.
Well worth the read.

Mayo Echo Just Keeps on Giving

I culled this from the pdf version of the Cottaging Times. I swear to God I didn't touch it, that's how it appears. I'm invoking God because this is clearly some kind of Holy Fire that gives off no smoke and floats mysteriously in front of the trees in the midground.

Those sheep better be praying and not fucking eating grass like ovine idolators.
Found on Sin Boards via Twenty.

The Mayo Echo Fearlessly Exposing Nobody But Themselves

Bock
Jazz
Michele
Castlebar.ie
The Cottaging Times Eyeing up the talent since 2004!
Oh, and Twenty
and Grandad
and Slugger

Clobber.

Finally all my blogging has paid off. People are sending me free stuff, which I finally collected after two months gathering dust in the safehouse (not wanting to reveal the location of the batcave).
From the back we have Gift Grub from Darragh, mug and placemat from AJ at LeCraic, and a Fluffy and TEWY badge from Mr. Thereisnospoon.
I forgot to pick up my Obsessive Blogger badges from Fergal in my haste to get back and obsessively blog about my cool stuff.


Black, 2 sugars.

Resign Mr O'Sullivan.

image source

YOU'RE EMBARRASSED????? Imagine how EMBARRASSED you'd be if you'd spread a pedestrian all over your bonnet? You drink-driving piece of shit. And Plank O'Keeffe needs a good toe in the head as well.
"Mr O'Keeffe said Mr O'Sullivan was aware that it is inappropriate to drink and drive".
It is not inappropriate. It is illegal.
I'm going to bang your fucking heads of the nearest hard surface if I ever see either of you.
I'm sure I'll be deeply embarrassed at the inappropriateness of my actions.

Una
Jazz
Irish Election

Young Gurls are just cramping up to vote Yes.

But why are they all called Flora? From Frilly Full's webshite.

RE: Blogger/Journo Relationships an' tha'.

Photo owned by www.butkaj.com (cc)

A media enquiries policy I quite identify with.
Via Briso's comment on Slugger.