Friday, May 30, 2008

Happy Fathers Day!

This kind of Father.

Not to be confused with Father's Day.

Green Party Rebrand

Totally unnecessary rebrand. The basic point of a rebrand is to distance an organisation from a recent massive failure or bad publicity. You're not the fucking PDs people. This is the most greenwashing-esque anodyne forecourt looking effort. It wasn't broken, there was no need to fix it.

For a party that often plays the poor mouth, I wonder how much was spent on this.

You could have had my redesign for free.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

They Shoot Raptureponies, Don't They?

El Castillo
Photo owned by teofilo (cc)
Somehow missed this, but Raptureponies shut up shop last week as well.

Plagiarpendent Strikes Again

Jazz Biscuit's turn this time in the Blogger-Dependent. Also Red Mum was ripped off by the Bleeding Herald last week. Look if any of you plago-journos are reading this, we're not here to do your fucking jobs for you, you lazy bunch of latte-swigging pricks. Sure we'll just call round to yours and help ourselves to your stuff while shoving your toothbrushes up our asses. You're only returning the favour.

Expect a deluge of invoices for twice the going rate to arrive on your editor's desk soon, with your name as a reference.

UPDATE: Simon McGarr has pointed out the chipped baby photo belongs to Daragh O'Toole.

UPDATE 2: I've just emailed the Independent seeking clarification on their policy regarding original material without credit or payment. If I pass out while holding my breath for reply will someone waft the smelling salts?

UPDATE 3: Now The Irish Times has ripped Jazz Biscuit off.

The Indo has removed the photos from its online edition linked above.

Now will they go around with scissors removing them from yesterday's print edition?

UPDATE 4: This is further discussed on

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

So Darwinism is real!

Spetchley story - 3
Photo owned by jo-h (cc)

Shane's popped his clogs. Una's thinking of freezing her head, and asks if we're entering a post-blogging phase. I don't think we are; so long as there are people procrastinating in offices there will be bloggers.

Now I need a new watercooler.

What the fuck is safe anyway?

Photo owned by Marcin Wichary (cc)

Saw this on Schneier (which if you don't read yet you must):

At the end of the day, however, we are facing a much bigger, more metaphysical question than the ones I have so far posed. That I can pose many others is of no consequence; either you are sick of them by now or you are scribbling down your own as I speak. The bigger question is this -- how much security do we want?

A world without failure is a world without freedom. A world without the possibility of sin is a world without the possibility of righteousness. A world without the possibility of crime is a world where you cannot prove you are not a criminal. A technology that can give you everything you want is a technology that can take away everything that you have. At some point, real soon now, some of us security geeks will have to say that there comes a point at which safety is not safe.

If you like Darwinism so much, why don't you go live there?

Photo owned by teofilo (cc)

There was much piss-pulling yesterday of decent religious sorts and their rational views of the origin of life (from rocks I think they're saying). It's all very well you educated types mocking God and Santa and Optimus Prime, but I've burned my various degrees and suddenly I'm thinking much clearer.

Now I'm sure I read somewhere that the Bible, almost in its entirety, is made up. But that is to deny the incontrovertable evidence that it is, indeed, miraculous:

how could all those ancient middle-eastern types write such good English?

Look, here's proof of intelligent design from improvising fellatio with a banana:

God makes people from peanut butter every few million years:

Or, you could try this. Aar.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Fine Gael Loses Part of Enda Kenny's Own Constituency

I was looking at Fine Gael's Beat the Heart of Eurwhoop's website which launched today and I clicked on Ire-Land in YouRope and saw this map

in the corner of this page
Fine Gael
(click for big).

It looks like in the race to Lisbon, the Aran Islands, Aranmore, Achill and The Mullet are all being left behind. Achill and The Mullet are in Enda Kenny's own constituency.

A cursory search for Ireland map produced this map:

Which I reduced and superimposed the Fine Gael one over (right):

As you can see, Mayo has been severely truncated.

That's pretty fucking lame for a county you represent Mr. Kenny.

BY the way, is the Mullet Peninsula

the origin of THAT haircut:


Shane's Off To Springsteen...

No crowd surfing.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Mary Coughlan Attempts To Carry Out Her Duties

You know that in casual exchanges between working colleagues Brian calls her Merry Cockring?

Fine Gael Threaten Violence on Europe

Beat the Heart of Europe.
Mr. Mulley for the tip-off.

Today's TD challenge:

Slip the word cunt into the Dail record.
For example:

"I cunt believe the Minister expects the House to believe..."
"I cunt three reasons why this legislation is flawed..."
"You're a cunt, Taoiseach."

Come on TDs, Brian's winning!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Brian Cowen is a Fucker

Well you can't argue can you Brian? When you're calling people fuckers yourself you can't really get too defensive if you're called a total wankbag out-of-his-depth tool of a motherfucking bad-tempered ballsucker, eh?

What would YOU call Brian Cowen?
Cowen apology after use of f-word
A New Era.
Jazz Biscuit

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Dunnes Stores Defending Free Speech

Three Ireland has been banning gay websites from its handsets. Good to see that Dunnes is all for free speech when it comes to clothes lines then.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Una Mullally Plagiarised in Irish Daily Mirror Today

MY work, not the work of "some internet wags" Una. At least in the Tribune you can make out the logo, but today's Mirror has helpfully cropped that out in its article. Fair enough, use the images but at least give a fucking credit.

But the real juice is Political Editor Aine Hegarty has lifted Una's tongue-in-cheek interview with Lili Forberg word for word in today's Irish Daily Mirror.

I call plagiarism.

UPDATED: Linked to Lili's blog. Una has reaction here. Seems this is so common she doesn't even register it any more. I also emailed Aine Hegarty this morning:

"Given that you've used my uncredited images and the better part of Una Mullally's article from yesterday's Tribune for your article today, I'm left wondering what you actually do for a living."

No reply.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Inadvertent Assonance On The BBC

Adults with autism to be audited. So says the headline.

Blogger Green Ink Leaks Data Protection Commissioner's Report

Who uses gloves to take a leak?
Photo owned by diaper (cc)

No I didn't. It was a little known blogger elsewhere. Story.
So it wasn't sensitive information that was leaked. But still, it is the kind of thing Alanis Morrisette would leave out of a song about irony, isn't it?

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

As Good As My Word

Gone. Goodbye Mr. Ahern.
It's not the end of an era.
I won't miss you.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Eamon Ryan Casual Like


There's also a Facebook group of Ryanies now.


From the BBC:
Campaigners on the Greek island of Lesbos are to go to court in an attempt to stop a gay rights organisation from using the term "lesbian".

Those Lesbosians sure are a militant lot eh?