The Government is planning a new agency to decide the fate of various government agencies, Green Ink can reveal. In a late-night note under the door, an unnamed Government spokesman has said that the new Agency would have far reaching powers of rhetoric and inaction, with a widely-flung brief and self-serving agenda that are guaranteed to see its existence outlast the Irish State. The statement continued that no Minister would have direct control over the Agency and as no targets were being set it is envisaged that no matter what the new Agency does it will have a 100% success rate. The statement almost concluded that while the public will not be informed who is actually in charge of the Agency, it would be vaguely hinted it was something to do with Eddie Hobbes and SUVs outside Aldi and Lidl. The statement concluded with some garlic sauce. Sources would not be drawn on whether this was part of Brian Cowen's new healthy eating regime.
Meanwhile Minister Without a Pulse Mary Hanafin has announced that once the less well-off members of society start stretching pennies in the face of a leaner economy she is confident that there will be enough copper wire for a viable export industry.
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